For so long I counseled myself: Just wait. Just wait. One day they will all be in school and you will have time to catch up, have a clean house, can the garden produce, maintain the flower beds, learn how to bake bread... write.
I remember Barbara Kingsolver saying the schoolbus was her muse and I was filled with longing... Some day that will happen to me. But it was still so far in the future I couldn't really fathom it. Now it is almost here... and I'm no more able to predict what a school day will feel like. I've been doing this stay-at-home mother thing now for 8 years--longer than I have done any one thing in my life and I simply cannot form in my mind the new structure of my days. I am simply aware that it is almost here, about to begin, and once again, I have no idea what is coming. No idea.